• An Uncommon Newsletter
Dedicated to Diversity, Laughter, Happiness, and Extremely Thorough
Lawyer-Bashing •
"The first thing we do, let’s
kill all the lawyers."
—William Shakespeare (Henry VI, Part II)
"You’re in a cage with a lion, a tiger and a lawyer. You have a gun
with two bullets.
What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice."
—Anonymous
"It’s either mashed potatoes with gravy or vanilla ice cream with
caramel topping… I’m not sure which…"
—Trevor "Don Trovatore"
"The Virtues of Airplane Food"
was out of bread (a key ingredient for André’s active lifestyle). The vendor then made an effort to cross the street, but the effort didn’t quite work out as planned. The man stumbled, tripped and then fell onto the side of the road, passing out. Confused, André walked over and asked if he was okay. The man mumbled something, lifting his head, covered with dust and dirt. André then proceeded back to the other side ofthe street and began to prepare his own meal, cuttiing up the jerk chicken and wrapping it. He walked back, paid the man in full and was on his way. Meanwhile, the writer of this article was taking pictures the whole time. Brian asked what the hell happened and André replied "I bargained him out."
[Writer’s note: this is one of the few things André said the entire trip. Some say there may be a conspiracy involved. Nonetheless, police and federal agents (Jamaican and American) are doing all they can and an investigation is still pending.]
(Continued on page 2)
Above: André inspects a fallen street vendor.
Around-the-Globe Special Correspondent
On Location in Jamaica
ELL,
greetings and stories from Jamaica. I’m not much of a writer (but I will
say I don’t think I’ll get in as much trouble as I did for that last
article. Sorry Chris and Charisse).
Anyway, here goes. The basics are like this: Ten rogues (five girls, five guys, including myself) recently lavished ourselves in the beautiful country of Jamaica. We stayed in Negril, which is on the west coast. While we were enjoying cliff diving, snorkeling, sailing and 80º weather, people back in Minneapolis were enjoying… ah… 46º weather. Anyway, it was nice to thaw our bones for ten days in the sun and there’s pictures to prove it.
There were lots of tales
of debauchery, but one particularly sticks in my mind. Fellow rogues Brian
R., André L. and I were walking down the road (with beers in hand)
when André decided to get some food from a street vendor. He found one
and was haggling in a friendly manner when the vendor saw he
